Ramblings from My Attic #116

Here, Now

It’s morning, blissful morning and though a work day, it is that splendid time when the sun is still tilted into my study window, the kids have trundled off to school, Allen to work and the dog and I back from our woodsy walk.

The newspaper sits on my footstool unread because my thoughts are forcing my fingers to record them; untangle them.  I’m in the midst of a prolonged high; what Allen and I have always called a love rush.  Though “Better Living Through (prescribed) Chemistry” may be a partial ingredient, I want to assure my many pre-menopausal friends that it’s not just the hormonal and chemical changes that I credit.  Watching my teen alternately tangling and untangling her own life, I realize that I am liberated by not living with future plans and decisions dominating my thoughts. 

This is the true joy of middle age.  I get to live in the moment because the moment is all mine.  It is what I value.  Even as we help our progeny and friends take steps to ensure satisfactory futures for themselves, we dames of a certain age get to preen and prance again.  I feel that every new accomplishment is now extra credit; bonus points. The gift I hope to impart to my girls as they struggle through adolescence and towards a nebulous future is the importance of balancing society’s benchmarks of accomplishments with self-satisfaction and humor.

With all the high hopes and high abilities that my high school junior has as she enters the college application mill, she also has her crazy, mercurial C-student mom modeling the joys of imperfection and flexibility.

Life is good.